With the coming of summer and early fall, wedding bells will be chiming many times every weekend, local merchants are being inundated with requests for tuxedos and bridesmaids dresses, florists taking orders for boutonnieres and bouquets, banquet halls were booked months ago to cater meals for hundreds. What a financial boost all of this will be for the local economy! But what about the bride and groom? Will they lose focus on the most important aspect of the day, the entering into a lifelong covenant 'to have and to hold until death do us part.'
I have been a counselor for 35 years and in that time have counseled with hundred's of couples. Most had entered into marriage with stars in their eyes anticipating a beautiful wedding day followed by a honeymoon and a life of marital bliss. A trip to the counselor's office or an attorney was the farthest thing from their minds. Yet, here they are, usually after waiting much too long to call for help. Often one or both are saying, 'I just don't love my partner any more' or, 'I don't know if I ever loved him (or her). Frequently they have the 'if only's.' 'If only I'd known! 'If only we'd talked about this.'If only we'd waited!' Where did all of the dreams go? Were they rooted in reality?
What could have been done to prevent the potential problems that brought the couple to the counselor's office, often considering divorce?
Although there are many factors that contribute to marital breakup, there are some things that can be done to decrease or reduce potential problems in a marriage. One of these is planning, not just for the wedding, but also for the marriage. Good premarital preparation that emphasizes lifelong commitment rather than wedding day planning will help provide a foundation for healthy families and vital communities.
Most importantly, encourage couples who plan to tie the knot this summer to participate in quality premarital counseling. By doing so you will give them the best wedding gift ever: A positive start to a long-term committed relationship! It's the best thing for all of us and it help to guarantee that Wausau and the surrounding area will continue to be a 'Great Place to Live and Raise a Family!'
